No party tonight. I was feeling anti-social and didn't feel like dealing with First Night.

Then I was feeling sorry for myself for not having a party to go to.

But I now have a cat on my lap reminding me of what I really love about my life.

Yeah, I want to be able to trust people more and gain some new real life friends, but right now I have a cat in my lap and life feels good. The Christmas rush is fading, there are people who care for me, I am learning to trust, I learn something new every day, and there is a cat in my lap. Thank you, Scout.

This year will be the best ever.

Scout wants to say vcccccccf hjnnnnnnnnnmfbgvvcx vcv sdsxxxzxzxxdvcxrffdccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccdd

I don't really know why, but she was determined.

I've been playing around with my camera and setting up my LJ scrapbook, and this, of course, means loading kitty pictures.

Several pictures below cut, dial-up unfriendly.



cross posted to kittypix

My mood is much better now than it was when I posted last night. Thank you again for all of your kind words. I don't think I could make it without your support. It helps more than you know that I am not the only one missing her every day, and that I always have a shoulder to lean on, even if only virtually.

Well, it had been a while, but I crashed again at work today (now technically yesterday).

I went into work feeling a weight on my chest and it just got worse as the shift went on. I finally broke while I was getting lunch, prompting the nice guy at Quizno's to ask me if I was all right. Embarrassing, although he was understanding when I explained.

I miss Cat. I miss her so much I can't even begin to describe the scope of it.

I can live with it some days, but it never quite goes away.

I guess it had been building for a long time, but I really didn't expect to fall apart so completely. I was sobbing. I couldn't breath I was crying so hard.

M saw what I was going through, and sat with me for a little while before he left for the day. The whole time he was talking to me, he was holding a brontosaurus temporary tattoo against the side of his neck. He never questioned why I was still hurting so much. He never suggested I should be over it by now. He made me laugh when the head of the tattoo design failed to stick.

I finally went to BL (boss lady) to ask her if I could go home early. When she saw my face she hugged me, and agreed when I said "I guess there will be days like this."

I wasn't in the daily schedule today for computer reasons (I still don't get the details) so they had already planned the day without me. I think BL would have let me go home regardless.

It was Rowan who finally managed to distract me. It took me a while to figure out why she was running around the way she was.

A combination of a lousy photographer and an uncooperative subject led to the icon. I am more happy with it than I though I would be. The cat portrayed in the icon (and that has now been posted all over LiveJournal) is Scout, my troublemaking twit of a kitty. I adore her beyond description, and recognize that my kitten love is the only thing that makes me love the icon as well. That adoration is all that keeps the little troublemaker healthy and alive at times.

Another cat of mine pissed on my work bag last night at some point. I don't think she has any idea of how lucky she is that my purse was not in the bag at the time. I know she doesn't like my schedule for food, etc., but she had better find a more appropriate way of expressing her displeasure.

In other news, I got a good demonstration of how to not get a job today.

This guy came in at 4:30 for a 4:00 interview, and insisted that the mistake was M's. He then griped about having to wait while someone else (who came in at the right time) was interviewed by "his" manager. He asked me at one point if he should "wait around" for M or just give up and leave. I almost told him not to bother if he didn't spend the time working on his attitude. It turned out that the other manager in duty had to do his interview, to keep the backup from getting worse.

The potential employee never apologized.

Smooth.

That is all that comes to mind at the moment. I will post again after I get some sleep.

I know you want to sit in my lap. You keep coming back and propping your paws and chin on my leg and looking up at me with that cute little face you have.

But it's hot and sticky in the house and I'm already itchy because I am covered with cat hair.

So no.

Final decision.



I still don't know how many Americans, if any, were on that plane. Most of the news websites put the death toll around 150 and I am doing my best to not imagine that Dad is among them. I know that I am being nervous about something that is very unlikely, but I can't help it. Sooner or later I am going to have to try to get some sleep. I have to work tomorrow.

But I am so afraid of getting that phone call.

Again.

Thank you, Scout, for being almost cute enough to distract me.

Mom has to spend another night in the hospital. She is enjoying the good meds and everyone has been very nice there. Her ankle certainly hurts but they are taking good care of her. The place really is pretty nice - the TV has more channels available than we get at home and she has a semi-private room. I left her with a change of clothes, a shoe, some wet wipes, and a thick book.

She is definitely going to be glad to go home. The main concern right now is making sure she can handle either crutches or a walker well enough to handle being in a house with stairs. If only there was a full bath on the main floor. I have done my best to make the place more accessible but there is likely more work that I will have to do once she comes home and I know what she'll need.

Scout is really going to have to learn to not be Little Miss Underfoot, at least for the next four to six weeks. *sighs and looks at the rotten little twit* It will be a miracle if she does. *fuzzbutt stares back with an innocent look*

Thank you for all the good wishes. I have passed them on and Mom also appreciates them.

edit: The nature walk she planned was a huge success, and she didn't even have to go! They managed to pull it off with no more broken bones. Yes, we're searching for as much good news to pull out of this that we can....

Northern Virginia folks - there is a little kitten that was born without eyes that is in need of a home.

I felt like I had to spread the word.

Dear Rowan,

One of the really cool things about my job is the fact that I sometimes have a closing shift and get to sleep in. You should know by now that I really like to sleep in.

That being said, I would really appreciate it if you would not spend a whole hour clawing at my door and meowing.

And don't glare at me when I call you "rotten little twit". I know it's usually Scout's nickname, but you earned it this morning.

love and scritches,

the mommy who was up way too late last night

Three days off in a row. It has been sweet, but I have to go back to work tomorrow. Sigh. It has been too nice catching up on sleep and accomplishing nothing else that can be called useful.

I wish now that I had gotten around to washing a load of laundry. I guess I'll have to do an overnight load or hope no one stands too close to me at the store tomorrow. Come to think of it, that might make things easier, considering how much I dislike having someone stand behind me....

Nah. I like most of my coworkers too much.

Most of my reading lately has been my friends list (especially customers_suck and kittypix but I have also been reading Widdershins by Charles de Lint. I love the book, truly I do, but I can't read it for more than about half an hour at a time without having to take a break. His work has always hit so close to my heart, but this one has the best aim of all. And the language that de Lint uses never fails to draw me in with a kind of enchantment. This is the kind of book that enticed me to work in a bookstore in the first place.

And what's next on my reading list? Dispatches from the Edge, in which Anderson Cooper talks about not only the news but also about the loss of his brother and the effect that it continues to have on him. It would be simpler to stab myself with a rusty spoon and pour lemon juice on the wound. At least I'm reading again.

As I write this, Keith Olbermann has been ranting against Bill O'Reilly. This isn't the fun that he usually has with the Fox "News" anchor; this time he is really pissed and I agree. In Malmedy, during World War II, the Nazis captured a group of American soldiers. Despite the fact that the soldiers surrendered peacefully, 84 of them were shot to death, some with their hands in the air. Bill O'Reilly said the Americans were the perpetrators of a massacre of Nazi soldiers. He said this in front of General Wesley Clark. This is why I can never watch The O'Reilly Factor. I get stomach aches too often as it is.

Well, Rowan, one of my cats, is all curled up and glaring at me for keeping the television on and not going to bed. She's right.

Maybe I'll check my friends list again first.

Edit: apparently the link to Keith's rant won't work. It's easy to find at MSNBC.com although you will need to use Internet Explorer (yeah, I know - I use FireFox, too) to watch the video.

No work today, so it was just me and my crazy cats all day. At least they're cuter than the crazy customers. Now, if only they could get along...

Imp is the oldest one, and doesn't get along with the others. She is still fairly sure that if she works hard enough at it she'll convince the others to leave. She is the most charming of the three, and a master of the guilt trip. She will routinely try to gert into my lap while I'm at the computer, usually managing to draw some blood from my leg in the process. When I yelp in pain, she will look up at me with a tragic expression and mew in her painfully sweet, sad voice, trying to get some attention. It works every time.

Rowan is the middle cat. She is a bottomless pit for attention, and will let me know if she feels she isn't getting enough. She follows me around the room, climbing up whatever I'm standing next to and complaining every time my hand leaves her head. She is sleeping on my fleece jacket now, an item of clothing she absolutely adores. Luckily for me, both she and the jacket are black. Rowan is currently sporting a small scratch under her eye, which I believe Imp gave her. She usually takes a hint from her older sister before it gets to that.

Scout is the craziest of the three, and, in Imp's opinion, is the Spawn of the Devil and the Source of All That is Evil or Unpleasant on Earth. I generally refer to her as Little Miss Underfoot. I usually wear my hair in a ponytail, and this cat has stolen almost all of the bands that I use to tie my hair back. She spends a great deal of time playing fetch with them or dropping them into her water dish. She will either leave them in the water or put them in my lap and act hurt when I refuse to throw them for her to retrieve. She managed to lock herself in the bathroom this afternoon, something that she does now and then. Her very favorite activity is driving Imp nuts. Imp is somewhat less of a fan of this game.

Yeah, all three of them drive me nuts, but I adore them all.