*hugs* I miss her too honey, and I didn't know her nearly as well as you did. I got very little of her life, and those few bits I did, I treasure.

I never knew her but by your posts she was a wonderful person. As someone who lost a loved one, all I will say that in time the hurt will diminish and you might miss her, but she will be cherished in your memory and reflection rather than pain.

Edited at 2008-09-18 02:40 pm (UTC)

*hugs*
It's not just you that misses her, especially at this time of year, for some reason.

I understand. After losing my brother-in-law -- an incredible, vibrant, creative man -- and then my father a few weeks later, I know all too well what it's like. I just miss talking to them.

Just to check, you know the verbal bitch smacking you'd get from her if she were available for comment, right?

I won't tell you I know how you feel, but I miss hell out of her too. You nor Judy nor Jim shouldn't have had to feel this and I'm sorry you have to now. I don't think it goes away.

As for having your life back, I'm of the opinion we'll be seeing her again. It's probably best that when we do, we've got some stories to tell. *hugs*

This missing and the wishing never goes away. It just hurts less over time. I still wonder, some 20+ years later what my life would be like if my sister hadn't died when I was 8.

I miss her too hon. Every damn day. My dreams since before dragon*con have been bittersweet. It's the time of year. Samhain comes, the veil gets thin. Then the anniversary in November.

*hugs*

*hugs*

I know (enough of) the feeling after watching my grandparents, my greatgrandmothers, friends, and my father pass away. The last is the worst, and it doesn't go away so much. I just get a little better at dealing with it each year. Sometimes I'm almost okay with that fact--that it does hurt--though; I guess it's my way of honoring him and the others I've lost by being brave enough to admit there's an open hole where he should be, and it hurts like fucking hell, but I'm still standing and still remembering rather than hiding from it.

But then, I'm weird, so your mileage may vary quite a bit.

*hugs*

I miss her too.

it's been almost 4 years since my brother-in-law passed away very unexpectedly. (how many 24-year-olds die of a heart attack?) my sister just started going to grief counseling a few weeks ago, and according to my mother, it's working.

within the past month, four of my friends have lost someone dear to them. Maria and Linda lost their mothers, Nicole lost a woman who was like a mother to her, and Melissa lost her only uncle.

all i can do is offer my sympathies and encourage you to not beat yourself up when you miss her. it's okay to post about her. it's okay to miss her. if you ever accept what happened, it's okay to miss her less. and it's okay to not accept what happened. i sometimes miss my Grampy who died in 1991, and i accept that the plaque at Houghton Academy and in St Stan's cemetery are memorials, but i'm still angry that he died of brain cancer. yet at the same time, it's a questioning anger, and not a rageful anger. more like, "why do people get cancer? why do people die from cancer?" and not, "god, why did you take my grandfather? i hate you so much."

in short, your feelings are normal. those who are concerned by your behavior are not annoyed at you. rather, they're worried for your health.

when you get the chance, i want you to go to a place that has a lot of birds -- hopefully passeriformes like sparrows and chickadees and nuthatches -- and just hang out. imagine patting each one on the head, or touching their beak like you would touch a person's nose, or batting their tail, or even rubbing your nose in their feathers. then tell me how calm it made you feel.

I could tell you that everything you are feeling and expressing is normal and ok, but i know that may not help how you feel. I'm not going to tell you that i know how you feel, but i miss her too, and i know how that feels. There's nothing i do, see, read, think, or experience in any way that i don't think about sharing with her before i have to remember that i have to wait. And it frelling sucks.

There is nothing just or right in her being gone.You are right about how that feels, but all i can do is sympathize with you and offer you hugs. It's silly, but it's feelings like this that make it hard for me to watch shows with alternate reality themes. Sometimes i just want to scream "it's not that damn easy!!".

If there was any justice in the world, it would have been me with that damned blood clot.There would be no justice in that. You are also a wonderful person, and i am happy to have had a chance to get to know you even just a little bit. There are other people in the world who actually deserve to be taken out, but there's probably a reason i don't get to make these decisions.


Please know that you are loved. *hugs*

*hugs* I know it still hurts, it will dull a little with time, but keep your memory of her close in your heart and she'll never be completely gone.

Don't feel bad about "whining." I don't think it matters how long it's been or how "over" the initial grief you feel - it can always sneak back in, and I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Not a fun thing, and probably not a healthy thing if it gets too far into the wish it had been me/that asshole/trying to bargain back in time thing, but I think everyone has those thoughts, too, from time to time :-/